It was after 45 minutes of climbing the 8km stretch to La Rosier at 1,800 metres above sea level pushing granny-gears that T-Bird and I began to discuss philosophy and religion.

Tony Robbins ‘unleashing the power within’ v. the poems of Khalil Gibran.

The beauty of the snow covered Alps and the green valleys below encouraged enlightenment. Only once we encountered a snow bank with a sign “ITALIE” did I realize that we had been climbing the mountain for over an hour.

Paul Morgan, the brains behind www.triathlonholidays.co.uk, had kept the pace to the top respectable and was waiting for us at the summit. Patrick and Steve, mountain bikers, extraordinaire, were in the midst of an all out snow fight. Even Paul who knew the hills well was no match for Patrick “Il Pirata” Morlacci and Steve “Rasmussen” Winton who had the strength and resilience of the 2004 US Postal team.

Hannah Banana and Jules Nucci both recovering from their formidable London marathons had pulled some tricks out their bike bags and were only a few minutes behind the group with Jules trying desperately to curtail the damage to her post-marathon body.

All in all, it was a small-knit group with depth, character and a touch of venom.

While everyone played in the hills, Natalie and Jake held the fort at La Macote, at the base of la Plagne (Lance’s infamous 21-switchback mountain). Jake, almost 4 months old, would stare at us on our bikes with his steely blue eyes akin to a caged tiger waiting to pounce on his prey. One day too, it would be his turn to take to the mountains.

Paul and his wife, Toni, were the amazing hosts of the SAUK team and provided us with unlimited amounts of coffee, wine, beer and cake. The breakfast and 3-course dinners they provided were all 5 star quality.

Here’s a summary of the weekend:

Thursday
Paul and Wendy picked us up from Lyon airport and transported us with our equipment to Macote. A 3-course meal awaited the tired travelers in preparation for Friday’s first ride.

Friday
Big 3-hour bike ride up La Rosier, lasagna at Aimes, followed by a 10k run along the river. Despite the fact that this was meant to be a relaxed training weekend, the crew took their gloves off from the word go and made sure you were in your big gear most of the way.

• Swim in Lake Annecy
• 100k bike over le Tamie through Albertville to Macot
• 10k run
• No rules card game

The locals looked at us like crazed lunatics as we kitted up in our wetsuits and took to the lake’s smooth waters. Mist hovered above the water as we struggled to warm up. Patrick, in Ironman mode, ventured out to the furthest yellow buoy. I smiled as I saw him put his head down and start to veer sharply to the right of the buoy. Before I knew it he was about 50 metres away from me swimming into a clump of rocks. He’d readjust his sights every few metres but continued to veer to the right. For Ironman Switzerland, we’re thinking of putting a blinker on his right eye to ensure he keeps going straight.

After the swim, a couple of croque monsieurs and hot chocolates we took to our bikes and headed back to Macot while Paul and the gang applauded from the warmth of the van. Patrick pushed a blistering pace up Le Tamie which we soon realized was part of a recent Tour de France. Faded white words of “Virenque” and “Allez Allez” tattooed the steep inclines. I held on to Patrick and Steve’s wheels for dear life up the climbs cursing in order to keep up.

Powered by a few bold chocolate pastries in Albertville we made our way to the town of Pussy. After a flood of innuendos and bawdy remarks from the boys, it must be said that the sweet and angelic Hannah Banana was the one who, after we had passed the town, mentioned that if we wanted to go back for Pussy she was glad to wait by the side of the road.

The rest of the ride was tough, hilly and adventurous. We made certain that everyone was sufficiently fed and watered to keep Bonkville at bay.

We even managed a hard 10k run after the tough ride, with Steve managing to elevate my heart rate to 175 bpm. Who knew it could go so high after so long in the saddle?

Patrick finished the day’s activities, ala John Wayne, by plunging half-naked into the icy public water trough belonging to the good people of Savoy. Paul’s kids Harry, Joe and Madeleine were entertained to no end as the rest of the guys took the dip which caused you to curse in French.

Dinner that evening was topped by Toni’s delicious new cake which we aptly christened “Flan le Plagne” in anticipation for Sunday’s ride. The wine flowed and dinner took a nasty turn as Jules invented a devious card game called “S*-head” and arranged for the mentors, T-Bird and RobbyRicc, to fall foul of each law that Nucci made up as the game progressed. Thankfully, despite my planned loss, no-one was hurt as the sharp claws of Glycogen Depletion Riccardi were never unsheathed.

• 50k bike ride
• 6k run
• Steve and Patrick made it to the top of La Plagne

The pace on the Sunday was rather brutal and we struggled to keep up to Steve and Morlacci (or more aptly “S&M”) who were getting stronger with every k in their legs. We managed a few tough climbs and formed a chain-gang in the long run down from Aimes to Macot. S&M smelt the stables and bolted down the hills as though their lives depended on it. Paul & I hid in their wake as S&M jockeyed for the lead. At 60kph. Even T-Bird and HB, overwhelmed by the Brut-like smell of testosterone, backed off as we hurtled towards home.

While T-Bird, HB and I managed to salvage a slow run along the river watching the rafters battling in the rapids, S&M took off like Frodo and Samwise Gamgee to the darkness of Le Plagne. They made the 16k summit in over an hour and arrived back, after having missed the wonder of HB’s interpretation of Total Immersion in the town’s watered ice trough, to partake in the wolfing down of several takeaway pizzas - the main ingredient of any good training weekend.