They call him the Clint Eastwood of triathletes. He don’t talk much. His guns do the talking.

On Monday, 10 July 2006, I realised why EPO (and a Compact chainset) is required by many Tour de France riders to survive consecutive days in the mountains.

I lined up 3 days ago at the startline for the L'Etape du Tour - stage 15 of this year's Tour de France (coming up next week on Eurosport) - held for amateurs.

It's a long stage - 191.1km, and it's a mountain stage in the Hautes-Alps.......starting in the French town of Gap, climbing the Col de L'Isoard to well above the tree-line (looks like a lunar landscape for those who have never been that high outside of winter on a ski-slope), then the Col du Lautaret, and finally with 15km to go....the classic of all alpine ascents...L'Alpe d'Huez. You reached the high point of 2360m at the top of the Isoard (89km), so the legs were smashed before the race even started. The cut-off for an official medal was 11 hours from 7am when the 1st guys start, so if you were last to start you have just over 10h30 for 191.1km.

But lets not get ahead of ourselves....

In the holding pen with 7548 other cyclists before 6am, chatting to a group of 10 from Dublin, each of us hoping to find a little bit of "Pantani" hide us. I was in Pen 4 so it took me 6min odd to cross the line, while some towards the back of Pen 8 took over 20min. The start is fast and tricky with a mass of bodies and traffic circles to negotiate. But it was uneventful as I tried to find a group to ride with. The route climbed steadily out of Gap with a fair headwind, so not a lot of volunteers prepared to be an Ekimov and work. I always have to set myself some form of target time even if I am unsure how I will hold up on a brutal route like this (knowing all too well that training in Surrey for the Alps, is like training for Comrades on a treadmill). Because without a target time, I'll feel aimless all day. So given that with getting lost & extra miles, on open roads, in pouring rain, I easily rode silver by 40min in the Tour of Wessex 160km, I set myself the target of silver in the L'Etape - in this year's race sub 8hrs in my age group. It was not a serious target, but since 8:01 and 11:00 gets the same medal, I may as well have a crack, I thought.

So steadily on and up we went sitting at between 28 and 35km/h; every now and then the speed would slow as the guys faded and you would have to "breach" - race fwd alone to the next group in the distance. I took 3 bottles so skipped the chaos at the 1st aid station (you fill up own bottles with small bottles of 300m mineral water handed out over a table) and went on to the 15km climb of the Isoard - 7-11% gradient. A beast with the 30C+ sun beating down and the 39-27 not cutting it. I ran out of drink and could feel a bit of cramp setting in on the inside of the right quad with 2km to go to the top. Made it there and carnage at the aid station. But from a rugby background so I brawled for 1.5l of water, mixed in some Powerbar sachets I carried, and off I went on the descent.

Steep, quick, no time to recover, and the next sign read - "Sommit du Lautaret - 30km". Nice one. 30km of grind - starts very steep in the village, then flattens out and gradually goes from 3% upwards with a few steeper sections later on of about 5-6%. Group riding and this time 8 of us, and later 4, stuck together, rotating the lead up front holding about 25-27km/h initially before it slows as it steepens in last 10km. One by one we blew - myself 2nd last to go as my Irish companion rode me off his back wheel in the last 3km of the climb (ala Basso - Simoni in the Giro - at least I took it on the chin with no talk of money changing hands...:o))). Top of Lautaret I was keen to avoid aid station carnage and stopped at a fountain to fill up my bottles - then skipped the next station 1km along and went all the way to 176km at the bottom of Alpe d'Huez. By now I realised that my sub 8 target was not going to happen...I was on track but there was little fight left in me, and I had to work way too hard to get that far that "fast". I was also cursing the fact that I did not put a Compact chainset on my bike & regretted not drinking enough early on. I was now dehydrated to the point that I could feel my triceps wanted to cramp on the descents just controlling the bike through the hairpins....

Reached the bottom of Alpe d'Huez with 1h06 to climb the 14.5km at 10% to get silver. Never. I needed to hold over 13km/h but I only held about 10-11km/h on the Isoard 80km earlier! Plus I knew I would cramp grinding in 39-27, for sure, I would just depend how badly and how far up I would have to embrace it.

So I stopped to chat to my wife, hug my kid...and off-load any excess gear, so I was as light as possible for the last climb. Sanet and her friend Kate (whose husband was also riding) were going to meet us at the finish, but in the jam to drive up the police closed the road 10 cars in front of them, so they had to park below the climb. I always knew this was a possibility and that the organisers would allow riders to descend back down from the finish to re-unite if needed. So that was what I needed to do afterwards. But 1st I needed to make it to the top. Some family photos and off I went with one bottle of boiling hot Powerbar drink and 2 gels.

Well... 4 hairpins into the 21 total, the bottle was empty. Alpe d'Huez does not play games - it rises steeply and stays steep - only the hairpins are flat 10m sections. There are fountains along the way as the glacier above flows down the mountain, so you can fill up and I had to do that twice. Half-way up, the much anticipated cramp came - I was waiting for it and had played the scene over in my mind - as the twinge started I would stand up out the saddle, that delays it for about 1min, sometimes more, then as it grips just ease off with that leg and basically do a one-legged drill to the next hairpin - stop, stretch it out, carry on. Auto pilot. I managed ~3 hairpins (about 2km of climbing) at a time before I had to stretch it out (just like with running, with a strong mind you can ride with mild cramp, but there comes a point when you have to stop and let it ease, else you fall over - twice I put this into practise and hit the tar).

After 90min of climbing (at 8-9km/h...) and stretching every 2nd to 3rd hairpin bend, I could see the village above. It's a mental pick-up but you don't really move any faster. A lot of riders were walking, a lot just lying on the ground next to their bikes, totally blown. Those on the bikes had the Iban Mayo "dead Elvis grin". Finally, 1h45 since hugging my kid at the bottom, I summited arguably one of the greatest and classic climbs in the Alps.

A few minutes later and 1km into the village proper, I finished the L'Etape du Tour 2006 in 08:44:59. No wet eyes like after your 1st marathon finish, just an overwhelming feeling of nausea and cramp. And then relief. Huge relief. A slower time than I was hoping for, but on a day when 2071 riders out of 7548 starters never reached that point officially in 11 hours (or at all), I was happy just to be there.

I would like to describe my exact emotions during this climb, but the truth is I can't remember...it's one big haze of burning eyes, cramping muscles and constant nausea from exhaustion and warm energy drink and gel. After the finish and the medal collection, next bit of time elapsed as a blur - ate some pasta and drank some water but the feeling of nausea was never far away. I phoned Sanet to say I'll descend in about 30min time, and I may have sent Keeto an SMS to say I just been through one of the hardest days in my sporting career. And I may have also sent James Fleming an SMS to book physio appointments for this week, but I cannot recall the details.

I descended the steep Col to the village below where my family was waiting, fighting cramp in my fingers while clinging to the break levers. Plenty more "dead Elvis grins" on the way up. Some of them definately not going to make the 11 hour medal cut.

The 1st time I was able to pee was the next morning.

Lessons learnt:

1. Same rule applies as in IM - if you feel good, drink and eat - you'll need it later when you can't.
2. To race in the Alps (or Pyrenees) - go and train there for a week or so; Surrey does not cut it.
3. Don't be a hero - put on a Compact
4. Bottle cages behind seat are great for triathlon time trialing, but in the blazing sun, climbing for hours on end, the liquid almost boils and you wanna puke every time you drink.
5. You cannot digest an energy bar on a 14km climb of 10%

...And most importantly...RESPECT the TdF riders....EPO or no EPO......they do this day in and day out at twice the intensity!

This as an awesome event. It's a logistical nightmare in terms of travel (as A and B could be 150km apart by closest route, plus it's in the mountains so you hrs from an airport), but it's a time to feel what the Pros feel. It's not for the faint hearted, and not for the weekend warrior, but if you love your bike, you'll love the Etape. If you keen for 2007, you need to book a place by the end of NEXT WEEK....yes it fills that quickly.

..next stop....London oly tri as training, before last stop....IMUK 20 Aug....last stop before a year off drinking for the 1st team, going on diving holidays, and getting a library card.

Hopefully we get some fight back in the legs, and the spirit, before then. Some pics attached below copied from the website...I will try scan the originals when they arrive and send them again (I may need reminding if you are interested to see them).

Cheers
Eugene